Since the dawn of time women and men have not been seen as equal in many aspects, but especially with sex and sexuality. I’ve written about this before, hence why this post is called part two. It’s a topic of discussion I talk about often with friends and strangers. I’m basically constantly looking for an answer for why the sexual lives of men is praised, and the sexual lives of women is degraded.
As an adult young woman I’ve have finally become comfortable with my body and the things that I choose do with it. Of course I am not the only one many of my beautiful young female friends, the amazing women in my family, and incredibly celebrity or business woman that I look up too all do what we want with our bodies.
Nonetheless derogatory terms like “slut” and “whore” are thrown around not only between men but between other women. Men obviously don’t use this kind of language when discussing their sexual choices. You’ll more likely hear terms like “player” or “da man“.
Sexual labels are constantly adding fuel to the fire of the sexual double standard. We live in a society the thinks about sex a lot, it’s everywhere but yet it’s still no appropriate for women to do and talk about openly.
Not only today but in many different times in history women who are known for showing some skin or not being shy about their sexual lives are physically are verbally punished and attacked. In the past punishments would include public physical harm.
Of course today women have much more of an open forum to speak and more rights. And although we still get occasionally get bullied for our decisions, there are some places online, on TV, in movies, and other forms of media that have highlighted women’s sex lives and sexuality should not be judged more harshly then a mans.
An article on Refinery29.com by Pippa Vacker, a woman who has 99 sexual partners has 480 comments. Of course some negative and some positive, but the message was clear she was comfortable with her sharing her sexual choices.
“I feel that I approach sex with a very healthy mindset, and constantly check in with myself and assess my actions,” she said. “So, what’s in a number? I don’t know. I kept track because I like to be able to gaze at the list and recall all my awesome sexy memories. I don’t want to forget anyone, even the shitheads“.
Model and reality star Amber Rose has been labeled a slut on many occasions because of her public relationships with rappers such as Kanye West and Wiz Khalifa, which whom she had a son with. She has boldly spoke out against these labels with a book about her life, a comedic video about the how women should handle the “walk of shame” , and at the 2015 VMA’s Amber and her best friend showed up in bold outfits showing off the labels she’s been called (photo above).
So to my fellow woman and my male readers I ask you to stop adding fuel to double standard fire, and before you say one of the negative or positive sexually related labels ask yourself why. Just changing the way we talk about women and sex can make a subtle shift in the way how women are viewed and how they view themselves.